Skip the Resolution. Create a Butterfly Goal.
This time of year, everyone is setting New Year’s resolutions... do more, do less, try harder, be better.
But most resolutions fail because they’re transactional.
They focus on behavior, not identity.
That’s why I don’t set resolutions.
I set Butterfly Goals.
A Butterfly Goal isn’t about doing more or less.
It’s about becoming more.
They don’t fix you.
They stretch you.
Here’s the Thing Most People Miss:
Most people already know their Butterfly Goal.
It’s usually:
The thing you’ve always wanted to do
The idea you keep coming back to
The dream you talk yourself out of with logic, timing, or fear
We don’t lack clarity ...we lack permission.
I call this the PERMISSION GAP: The Permission Gap is the space between knowing what you want… and believing you’re allowed to want it.
How to Find Your Butterfly Goal
Ask yourself one (or more) of these questions:
What have I always wanted to try, but never given myself permission to pursue?
What keeps popping into my head that I immediately dismiss as “unrealistic”?
If failure wasn’t an option, what would I go after this year?
What version of me is waiting on the other side of courage?
That’s your Butterfly Goal.
What Mine Look Like
I’ve had many Butterfly Goals over the years.
One of mine was getting on a game show. Not because I needed the money or the attention, but because it represented courage, playfulness, and believing in myself enough to go all in.
Another one right now? Learning to do one pull-up. Not for fitness, but to become someone who stays patient, consistent, and committed when something feels hard.
Butterfly Goals aren’t random. They’re deeply personal.
What Butterfly Goals Look Like in Real Life
Writing a book you’ve been thinking about for years
Starting a podcast or creative project before you feel “ready”
Training for a Marathon
Learning to play an instrument
Asking for the promotion, raise, or opportunity you’ve been hoping someone notices
Starting a garden, doing stand-up comedy, painting a mural, learning to do a handstand (just a few others have done).
Same courage. Different expressions.
Next week, I'll be sending more info on how you can set and achieve your butterfly goal. But for now - I just want you to keep thinking!!
One Last Thing
I’m currently booking guests for the Be Who You Came to Be podcast and looking for people who are brave enough to talk about their Butterfly Goals - big or small.
Not polished.
Not perfect.
Just real stories of becoming.
If that’s you (or someone you know) I’d love to hear from you.
Because becoming who you came to be always starts with one brave decision and that first imperfect step.
