Emotions Don’t Compete… So Why Do We Try to Choose?
Yesterday, we spent the day in Knoxville touring the University of Tennessee… and wow - what a day.
Ben was accepted into the mechanical engineering program (still feels surreal to even type that ), and after visiting… he knows. That’s where he’s going.
And me? I felt everything.
Pride.
Excitement.
Gratitude.
Sadness.
A little fear.
A whole lot of love.
All at the same time.
We truly thought he’d be heading to the University of Kansas - close to home, easy, familiar. But then the acceptance letter from Tennessee came through. And not only that… his third-grade best friend got accepted the same day.
It felt meant to be.
So we went to Nashville for a little fun, then drove to Knoxville.
I’m not going to lie - Sunday, I was emotional. Thinking about the distance. Thinking about this next chapter. Trying to process it all.
Monday felt different.
The energy on campus, the excitement of the students, the buzz of what’s possible… it was electric. And watching Ben light up with pride and possibility? There’s nothing like it.
And that’s when it really hit me… We can feel multiple emotions at once.
And not only can we… that’s actually what a full life looks like.
I’m so proud of him. AndI’m sad he’ll be far away.
I’m excited for his future. AndI’m grieving the end of this chapter.
I’m looking forward to this new adventure for our family… And I’m feeling the weight of time. My sweet mom is feeling it too.
She’s loved having him close - the spontaneous lunches, the everyday moments. And I know this is hard for her. She’s 77, and there’s an awareness of time that comes with that.
But the truth is… none of us know how much time we have. And maybe that’s exactly why we feel so deeply.
I remember this same emotional complexity when my dad passed. The grief was overwhelming… but there were still moments of laughter, love, and connection.
At the time, it almost felt confusing. How can I feel this sad… and still experience joy?
But now I understand...
Emotions don’t compete.
They coexist.
And this is where emotional intelligence comes in.
Instead of judging what we feel, we allow it.
Instead of trying to “fix” the sadness, we honor it.
Instead of thinking something’s wrong because it’s hard… we recognize:
This is what fulfillment feels like.
And it’s also why I say this all the time - You don’t need to be happy all the time.
Somewhere along the way, we started telling people to choose happy… as if that’s the goal. But that’s not a full life.
A full life is layered. It’s emotional. It’s meaningful.
It’s pride and pain.
Joy and grief.
Excitement and fear.
All existing at once.
Because the most meaningful parts of life? They’re not easy.
They stretch us.
They challenge us.
They ask us to let go and hold on—all at the same time.
But they also create the most epic moments of happiness, pride, and love.
A few reminders for you this week:
1. Let your emotions exist without ranking them. You don’t have to choose between happy or sad... you can be both.
2. Don’t rush to “feel better.” Sometimes the goal isn’t to change the feeling… it’s to understand it.
3. And if it feels big, it’s because it matters. The depth of your emotion reflects the depth of your care.
I’m still feeling all of it as I write this.
Tears… and a smile.
And maybe that’s the point. Because one of the greatest gifts in life is watching the people you love be who they came to be.
Your kids.
Your friends.
Your family.
Letting them grow.
Letting them go.
Letting them become.
It’s not always easy… but it’s everything.
A full life isn’t about feeling one thing perfectly... it’s about allowing yourself to feel it all.
Be who you came to be. Love will guide you.
