Replace Comparison with Admiration
recently had the opportunity to sit in the audience and listen to a few keynote speakers.
One of my favorite things to do is study other people’s craft. Their stage presence. Their storytelling. Their ability to connect with an audience.
I love learning from the best.
But if I’m not careful, admiration can quickly turn into comparison. And comparison is a dangerous game.
Before the event even started, I gave myself a simple reminder:
Admire. Don’t compare. Because I know what happens when I compare.
I leave thinking:
My content isn’t good enough.
I’m not as polished as they are.
I have so much work to do.
In other words, I leave feeling smaller.
This time was different. I watched. I learned. I admired.
And instead of leaving discouraged,I left energized. Instead of feeling inadequate, I felt inspired. Instead of focusing on what I lacked, I became curious about what I could learn.
The same thing happens every day when we’re scrolling social media.
We see someone’s promotion.
Someone’s vacation.
Someone’s relationship.
Someone’s success.
And before we know it, we’re measuring our lives against their highlight reel.
Research has found that social media often triggers what’s called upward social comparison - comparing ourselves to people we perceive as doing better than we are. Studies consistently link that kind of comparison to lower self-esteem, more envy, and decreased well-being. (PMC)
But here’s the interesting part.
Researchers have also studied something called social savoring - feeling genuinely happy for someone else’s success. When people shifted from comparison to celebrating someone else’s win, their self-esteem actually improved. (Duke Psychiatry)
Think about that.
The same post. The same person. The same success story.
Different mindset. Different outcome.
Comparison asks: “Why don’t I have that?”
Admiration asks: “What’s possible for me?”
Comparison creates insecurity. Admiration creates curiosity.
Comparison breeds jealousy. Admiration reveals possibility.
Comparison makes someone else’s success feel like evidence of your inadequacy. Admiration makes someone else’s success evidence of what’s available.
So here’s your Tuesday Tip:
The next time you catch yourself comparing, pause and ask: “How can I admire this instead?”
Because you didn’t come to be them. You came to be you.
Shine ON Friends - Be who YOU came to be.
