Tara’s Tips: Part 4
It usually happened about halfway through the season….
The initial excitement had worn off. Practices were becoming repetitive. The activity was getting harder, and suddenly one of our boys would announce:
“I don’t think I like this anymore.”
It happened with tennis, flag football, and even music. And sometimes they were right. Not every activity was a perfect fit, and they didn’t have to love everything they tried. But in our house, we had a rule:
You don’t have to do it again… but you do have to finish what you committed to.
We talked about why we don’t quit in the middle:
…Your teammates are counting on you.
…Your coach or instructor is counting on you.
…Our family has committed time and money.
…Most importantly, when you say you’re going to do something, you honor your word.
Once the season or session ended, they could choose not to sign up again. But we expected them to complete the commitment they had already made. There is a difference between recognizing that something isn’t right for you and walking away because it has become difficult, inconvenient, or less exciting.
Almost everything loses its novelty eventually. The new job becomes work. The exciting goal requires discipline. The instrument demands repetitive practice. The commitment becomes inconvenient.
If children learn that discomfort is always a reason to quit, they may carry that pattern into their relationships, education, and careers. But when they learn to stay, contribute, and finish… even when they don’t feel like it… they develop character.
They learn that feelings matter, but feelings don’t always get to make the final decision. They learn to manage frustration and consider how their choices affect other people.
We all know people we can count on. If they say they’ll be there, they show up. Their words and actions match.
We also know people who say one thing and do another. They’re enthusiastic at the beginning but disappear when the work becomes difficult.
The difference is personal accountability. Accountability isn’t only accepting blame when something goes wrong. It’s understanding that your choices, commitments, and actions affect other people.
That is emotional intelligence.
Of course, “we don’t quit in the middle” doesn’t mean children should remain in an unsafe, abusive, or genuinely harmful situation. Sometimes walking away is the healthiest and most courageous choice.
This is about ordinary discomfort - not danger.
So, when your child wants to quit, pause and ask:
What changed?
Is this harmful or is it simply difficult?
Who is counting on you?
What would it look like to finish well?
What can we learn before deciding whether to do it again?
Finishing what they started taught Ben and Jack:
I can feel frustrated and still follow through.
I can change my mind without abandoning my responsibility.
People can count on me.
Sometimes accountability means finishing what you started. Other times, it means acknowledging when you got something wrong and making it right. We’ll talk about that next week.
For now, remind your children and yourself:
You don’t have to do it forever. You don’t have to do it again. But when you give your word, you finish what you committed to.
Because talent may open doors, but character determines whether people can count on you.
Keep Shining - be who you came to be!
