You Never Know What’s Going On in Someone Else’s World
We all do it.
Someone cuts us off in traffic. A coworker is short with us. A friend doesn’t text us back. Our teenager rolls their eyes. And almost instantly, our brain starts creating a story.
...They’re rude.
...They’re selfish.
...They’re mad at me.
But what if the story isn’t true?
A friend of mine recently shared that her daughter has started pulling away as she gets ready to enter high school. She’s quieter. Less affectionate. More detached.
I’ve noticed some of the same things with Ben as we get closer to college.
There’s actually a term people use - “shtting in the nest.” As kids prepare to leave home, they often create emotional distance. It isn’t because they love us less. It’s a very normal part of preparing for independence.
Knowing that doesn’t make it easy. But it does change how I choose to see it.
And that’s emotional intelligence.
One of the greatest gifts of mental fitness is learning to pause before we personalize someone else’s behavior. Instead of assuming the worst, we become curious.
...Maybe they’re overwhelmed.
...Maybe they’re grieving.
...Maybe they’re anxious.
...Maybe they’re carrying a burden we know nothing about.
Now, let’s be clear. Empathy doesn’t mean excusing poor behavior.
I remind my boys of something I also remind myself: You’re entitled to a bad day. You’re not entitled to give someone else a bad day.
We are each responsible for how we show up, regardless of how we feel. At the same time, we can choose not to make someone else’s difficult moment about us.
This week, before you assume someone is being rude, difficult, or intentionally hurtful, pause and ask yourself: What might they be carrying that I can’t see?
You may never know the answer. But choosing curiosity over judgment will almost always make you a better leader, parent, friend, spouse, and human.
And before you just blow them off - give them a smile and a little kindness. You just never know who's day you might turn around.
Be Who You Came to Be.
