The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Last week, I had the opportunity to go live on Instagram with Katherine Rhadans, a recovering alcoholic, a powerful storyteller, and an incredible woman with a heart of gold. She has dedicated her life to helping others reclaim their lives by quitting alcohol.
One part of our conversation has stayed with me: we talked about the language we use when we talk to ourselves and about ourselves.
We discussed how 80% of our thoughts are negative, biased, and repetitive and how important it is to rewrite those stories if we want to grow.
At one point, I brought up something that made me pause... the language of sickness often used around addiction.
While I’m not an addiction expert, I have deep love and respect for those facing their addictions and demons daily in order to show up as the best version of themselves ...to be who they came to be.
And what I gently offered in our conversation was this:
While we can honor the reality of addiction, what if we also made space for a story of healing?
What if we acknowledged the illness, but reframed the identity?
What if, instead of saying “I’m sick,” we said “AND I’m healing”?
That shift doesn’t deny the struggle ...it adds hope.
It makes space for growth. It acknowledges the pain, while holding the possibility.
It reminded me how often we all - addicts or not - hold ourselves back with the same old stories. I’m not good enough. I always mess up. I’m too much. I’m not enough.
Eventually, those stories feel like facts. But they’re not.
Here's a fact in life: WE GET WHAT WE BELIEVE. And when we begin to rewrite the story, we open up space to be who we came to be.
Our thoughts create our reality, so it's crucial to become aware of the narrative running on repeat in our minds. Emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness ...noticing the stories we tell ourselves, especially in moments of stress, doubt, or fear. When you catch a limiting belief, try reframing it with empathy and truth.
For example, instead of...
“I always mess this up,” say “I’m learning, and I’ll handle this
better next time.”
Swap...
“I’m not good enough” with “I’m growing, and I’m showing up.”
These small shifts in language help regulate emotions, build resilience, and unlock the confidence to move forward. Reframing isn’t denial - it’s choosing to lead with compassion and possibility.
Whether you’re healing, growing, grieving, or evolving ...give yourself the grace to tell a better story. The one where you are on your way, not stuck in your past.
Because you are.
xo, Tara
P.S. Speaking of reframing…
You’re not broken. You don’t need another self-help book to fix you, you need a reminder to be more of who you came to be. That’s why I wrote the book. It’s not about becoming someone else ...it’s about coming home to yourself. Check it out here.
